Bungle
by cairea
Summary: AU crossover with FFVII. Rufus Shinra needs something stolen and is directed to what he's assured is the best thief for hire in Junon.


**AN: **This is a total AU crossover/fusion, appropriating Midou Ban, Wan Paul and the Honky Tonk Cafe from the anime Get Backers. Familiarity with Ban and the Jyagan aren't strictly necessary to sympathise with Rufus here, but it would go a long way towards helping to understand what's going on. Written for Noel, who only asked for something random with Rufus and Ban. Little did she suspect.

Bungle

by Megan

Rufus Shinra was accustomed to having people come to him. He was the Vice President of Shinra Inc., the cruel prodigy scion of the Shinra empire whose reputation contained oft-repeated words such as 'ruthless' and 'icy'. He had spent precious years building his image, building his own power base.

Building his own empire. One far more subtle than his father's -- and meant to last longer.

Therefore, when people wanted to deal with Rufus Shinra, _they_ came to _him. They _jumped through _his_ hoops, navigated _his_ secretary, dealt with _his_ schedule and generally did things at the least inconvenience to _him_. When they didn't want to deal with him and might have been inclined to be inconvenient, he had Tseng talk to them. That usually cleared up any misunderstandings about the proper way of things.

Rufus Shinra did not go to meet prospective employees outside of his headquarters in Junon -- or at least within a several block radius of said building. He certainly didn't sneak out of his own home with only one undercover Turk as security and skulk into what passed for Junon's lower class neighborhoods to do it. And if he had to do that, he most certainly didn't spend an hour and a half waiting around in a crummy little coffee shop with a proprietor who looked like he was probably some relation of Reno's, with sunglasses and an eternally lit cigarette in an ashtray at his elbow.

It was at about this point that Rufus' logic failed him, because as much as he wished that he were _not_ here, and as insulted as he was to have to _be_ here, he was most definitely here, and here at the insistence of someone else. That that someone else couldn't be bothered to put in an appearance within an hour of their agreed upon time only added to the annoyance. He wasn't sure if he would be angrier if they blew off the meeting entirely or if they actually showed up at this point.

Every time he started to consider just getting up and walking out, however, Rude would glance at him with a slightly raised eyebrow. Given that the Turk could manage to appear unruffled and completely uncaring through this ordeal, Rufus himself could hardly give in to the urge to have a temper tantrum about the inconvenience.

He was beginning to suspect that Tseng had sent Rude with him for exactly that purpose. Tseng was the only one who knew exactly what was going on here. Well, Tseng and this mysterious Ban Midou he was supposed to meet here. But unknown quantities never bothered Rude. Nothing, as far as Rufus could see, ever really bothered Rude -- something that drove the other executives up the wall, but which Rufus totally approved of.

Finally, the bell over the door of the café rang. Rufus didn't bother looking up, though he could see Rude's head turn towards the door out of the corner of his eye. He could also hear as a small, nearly inaudible hmph of surprise escaped the Turk. Thus warned, Rufus was able to keep a mostly calm face when the boy seated himself in the booth's empty seat.

Mostly, because of all the things Rufus had been expecting, it had not been a scruffy fifteen year-old with a cocky swagger that rivaled even Reno's, and eyes that were not at all hidden behind a pair of blue-lensed glasses. Tseng's assurances that Ban Midou person was completely competent -- if a little unorthodox -- had in no way included the fact Ban Midou wasn't even old enough to drive yet.

Far from being bothered by the stares he was attracting, Midou dug out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He affected a cool, detached air, but Rufus did notice that not once during the process of tapping out a cigarette and lighting it did his eyes leave the pair of them. He was better at it than Reno. Rufus wasn't sure if that disgusted or disturbed him more.

Midou was the first to break the silence. "Come on, I know Tseng didn't send you here just to stare at me."

Annoyed that he had been so easily discomfited, Rufus cleared his throat. "No. So you _are_ Ban Midou."

The reply was snapped back amidst a cloud of smoke. "Are you really Rufus Shinra? Last I heard, he kind of had a brain." The look in the eyes boring into him clearly stated that there was very little doubt in the kid's mind about the mental state of the potential imposter sitting before him.

"I was expecting an adult."

The grin that flashed over Midou's face did nothing to alleviate the intensity of his gaze (and what cause did a teenager have to be that intense about anyway?). "Heh. Whose fault is that? Not mine."

Having to accede that point did nothing to improve Rufus' mood. Tseng had never actually said that Ban Midou was an adult, Rufus had simply assumed. It was not the boy's fault if people expected him to be older than he really was, just as -- a smug little voice whispered in the back of his mind -- people never realized how young Rufus himself really was until they met him face to face.

"Very well," he said, firmly quashing the desire to tell the boy to run home to his mother. "If you really are who you say you are, I need you to steal something for me?"

Dark eyebrows lifted. "What, not 'a business proposition'?"

Rufus shrugged. "It's that, too, but why waste words?"

If there was a glimmer of approval behind those tinted lenses, Rufus couldn't bring himself to care. "All right, you need something stolen. Why not have one of them do it?" Midou's head jerked in Rude's direction, shaggy hair falling into his eyes.

Pleased to have finally gotten down to business, Rufus folded his hands on the table. "Because I need it stolen from another Shinra executive. I think you know her as Scarlet." He smiled slightly at the low whistle that emerged from the thief. "She has plans for some sort of super weapon to be built in Junon. I want them."

"And you expect me to waltz into the Shinra tower to get them?" The derisive edge had hardly faded from the boy's voice, but there was an underlying tension as well. "Forget it. You couldn't pay me enough to get within a mile of that place."

Briefly Rufus remembered that Tseng had mentioned the boy's determined aversion to official Shinra installations. He hadn't really thought much of it at the time, except in that it was irrelevant, as Rufus wouldn't have met with him in one anyway. Now he wondered a little.

But it was still completely irrelevant.

"You won't need to. She keeps the plans stored in a small memory stick that she carries with her everywhere. All you have to do is get that away from her." Rufus leaned back. "If you can get close to her without getting shot, you shouldn't have trouble actually finding the thing." Not with the way Scarlet dressed.

The boy's eyes narrowed slightly as he considered the offer. "How much are you paying for this?"

"I thought ten-thousand gil would be adequate."

The disbelieving snort that emanated from Midou startled him. "Ten-thousand'll barely pay off my tab with Paul here." He waved at the coffee shop's proprietor. "I want thirty."

Rufus frowned. The money was hardly an issue for him, but he was not used to bargaining with peons. It wasn't as if he was asking the boy to _kill_ Scarlet, no matter how tempting the idea was. "When I don't even know if you'll be able to get close to her? She's hardly helpless, no matter how she looks."

Midou laughed lowly. "Oh, I'll get close. Don't you worry about that." He started to rise. "Thirty thousand or nothing, pretty boy."

Annoyed, Rufus pushed himself to his feet, leaning over the table at the boy. His reprimand was cut off, however, by the world appearing to shatter around him. Disoriented, Rufus leaned on the table, and when his vision settled, he was staring at an empty bench.

"Did you have a nice dream?"

Rufus' head snapped around. Ban Midou was sitting on the bar across the room, grinning darkly. Rude was standing between them, one hand half behind him, just touching the handle of his gun. Paul had moved down to the other end of the bar, studiously ignoring all three of them.

"What did you just do?"

That laugh rippled through the shop again. "Just what I'm going to do to Scarlet." Midou grinned and hopped off the bar, strolling towards the door. "I'll contact Tseng when I get your plans. Have the money ready, or I'll just keep it for myself."

As the bell rang and the door swung closed, Rufus sat down again, frowning intensely. "Rude."

The Turk was back at his side in one step. "Sir."

"What just happened?"

When Rude hesitated to answer a question it was never a good sign. "I'm not sure, sir. Midou came in, walked over to your booth, and you looked up at him. Then he walked over to the bar and sat there until you stood up."

Rufus refused to demean himself by asking if Rude hadn't heard their conversation. Unless this was some sort of bizarre practical joke on Tseng's part, he hadn't. "How long was I sitting there after he came in?"

"About a minute or so."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Rufus sighed. He'd been duped, somehow. But still . . . whatever Midou had done, it had been effective. If it would be as effective on Scarlet, who was he to object?

That decided, he rose. "Let's go back, Rude. And call Tseng and let him know I'd like to see him immediately upon my return."


End file.
